Class Discussion

Everyone is unique. We all have our own convictions which lead us to who we are. That became evident when we had our class discussion about "Teaching the "N" Word." Third block got in a very tense discussion about the word nigger than the actual reading. We could have very easily ranted for an entire school day, but we got cut relatively short. I would just like to take a moment to say a couple things that I didn't exactly get a chance to say. DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to offend anyone. I will try to speak objectively and if some terms come out biased, that is not my intention.

A point that I made in class is that nigger is put on the taboo list because of the constant reassurance that it is a bad word. However, when you look at other condescending terms like Pollock or patty for example, they are often overlooked. Nobody considers them horrible because those words are not as well remembered.

There is no doubt that there is a lot of hate behind the word nigger, but why? People remember that it was a word used when slavery was prominent, but still the question remains. Why do people get so upset over the word? I understand that negro was the formal term for Africans and nigger was slang, but they were just words at the time.

One can argue that everything that African Americans have adopted from "white" society can be racist. Generally speaking, white people gave them the word nigger, first and last names, society ideas and principles, and many more things that did not originate in Africa. I don't exactly understand why nigger is so offensive seeing as how it started as just a blanket term for African Americans.

Something that I want to rant about is racism in McFarland. Within our class discussions we consider this town sterile. In most respects that is true, but from what I have observed, racism is the stain on our "clean" society.

I like to think that I have mingled with a relatively large amount of McFarland citizens. It seems that they are all good people for the most part; however, when someone says "black person" for example, racial slurs and jokes normally follow. When I am driving down a street with people, it strangely seems like someone feels the need to scream out "White Power" to people on the side walks. To the best of my knowledge racism in McFarland is mild. Students for the most part use it as a joke, and when it comes to a confrontation with someone of a different skin color, they seem to treat them like people.

To a limited extent, the white people of this community have an excuse for their mild racism. White people typically have a better education than blacks due to bigger bigotry, but that's a different discussion. The people who inhabit McFarland are disproportionately wealthy compared to neighboring school districts. We have had minimal contact with other races because not many minorities feel comfortable in rich, snobby McFarland.

It is my understanding that most of our black students have been expelled from "ghetto" schools like Lafollette and East. I could be wrong, but that is the common belief of the students who I talk to. What I am really getting at is that I think that it is very unfortunate that we only come in contact with the less than reputable students of other schools who just so happen to be black. We generally don't see African American students in AP, advanced, or accelerated courses at McFarland. This only adds to our accumulative racism because we see all of the bad and stereotypical things that are associated with African Americans.

The issue of racism has many people all over the board of where they stand. There are many things associated with racism and the roots of it that I hope to understand within the near future. Our class discussion opened up a lot of points of view that enlightened me. I hope that we see more controversial readings in the future in hopes that we learn from each other.

What Scares Me

Whether or not it is clear as day or if it's as subtle as a blink, fear has a hold on everyone. I like to think that I'm not afraid of anything. However, as much as I would like to believe that I can't. The idea of failing makes me feel very unsettled.

When I say failing, I don't mean an "F" exactly. I have set a lot of high standard goals that I plan to meet within the near future. They mainly revolve around becoming an officer. Since it such a high goal and status, there are many ways that I can fail in meeting that goal. It seems like I am on such a tight rope that I can't hold on to any of the "baggage" that I used to carry around. The things that I used to consider fun are largely diminished. I am so afraid of doing something stupid that would make all of my hard work for practically nothing. Even something as minute as a curfew ticket or a detention scares me. Right now I am balancing on such a narrow strip that it feels like a windy day could ruin a lot of things.

I will never say that I regret beginning this process, this "adventure." I will say that this time in particular is the most frightening part of my life--so far. I have five schools that I NEED to apply for in order to stay qualified for the NROTC Scholarship that I am shooting for, the Naval Academy, which is a boat-load of fun to apply for, and I have to maintain a constant state of motivation to prepare myself for whatever happens.

Also I am in the limbo period of the process where I don't know anything right now. I sent in my application and I have to wait another seven months until I hear back from NROTC. I guess that I am more stressed if anything at this period, but it is the thought of failing, not getting what I worked so hard for, really scares me to death.

After reading this whole thing, it seems like I did more "venting" if anything. Bottom-line: not meeting my goals scares me. Thank you for reading my frustrations.

Power of Music

Kolin's discussion got me thinking. How much does music play into my life? Even as I write this blog I am listening to music. The role of music in my life is a necessary support that I need to get through my week.

For example, when I am doing homework I am listening to music. Term papers are simply boring. They are not fun and I believe that few people enjoy them. However, if I am listening to music, my ideas come out much faster. Mainly due to the fact that I am not bored and not thinking about sleep. If anything I look forward to papers and homework because it is a good excuse to listen to music for a couple hours.

Music is especially prominent when I am doing something physical. Running or working out is not the same once you have been motivated by fast pace songs. Music helps me get in the mood to do things that require a sense of urgency. It seems difficult to do push-ups, bends and thrusts, mountain climbers, pull-ups, bear crawls, leg lifts, flutter kicks, firemen carries, firemen squats, planks, inch-worms, bicycles, negatives, diamonds, seals, building a house, wall sits, buddy wall sits, and etc... without someone/something to get you going. Music, more often than not can fill that void.

I also like to rely on music to help me chill. Craig Morgan tends to sound especially good on lazy Sunday mornings.

We can all agree that music is a form of expression. It can also be concluded that in today's society it is a necessary facet of everyday life. Whether or not you find yourself in the elevator, gas station, or the car, you can be sure that music will satisfy your mood.

How I Write

We all have qualities and features that make us unique. A definite feature that sets one apart is writing. Writing styles may be similar, but in all reality, identical writing styles are as common as matching finger prints from two people. There are small subtleties that make us different. Whether or not the differences come in the introduction, or in the conclusion, something can be found that is one of a kind.

My writing is unique in the sense that I make it entirely different from the way that I speak. I have more time to formulate what I am going to say, which normally comes out to sound a little more intelligent versus free speaking.

I also like to put an emphasis on getting one's attention. I believe that my introduction paragraphs do a fairly good job of making the reader read more. I try to open the introductions with an indirect sentence that leads up to what I am going to write about.

Within my body paragraphs, I like to keep a solid structure. I'll admit that I have a little OCD when it comes to that. I have been known to move paragraphs from the last thing you read to the first. The form and order is very important to me when I am writing, because I try to paint a picture. Everything has to be in place for one to see what is on the canvas.

For this particular era in time, individuality is a high commodoty. Writing is definitly a way to express that. There are no right or wrong answers. Therefore one is free to grow in any direction that one desires.

For me specifically I like to find things that are particularly unique so that I also may grow. The way that I write is mine. It may be similar to others, but in the end it is unique.